How to Master the Art of Mindful Eating

 

 

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How to Master the Art of Mindful Eating

via Zen Habits by Leo on 3/24/10

Editors note: This is a guest post by Jules Clancy from stonesoup.

When I quit my job in January to focus on blogging full time, there were many changes I was excited about implementing in my lifestyle. One of the most rewarding has been around my eating habits.

During my years as a corporate wage slave, breakfast was a meal I ate alone in my car. Bites snatched and barely chewed while I negotiated the frustrating traffic on my one hour commute.

Lunch tended to be an even more disappointing affair. While I did usually take something fresh from home. I didn't give it justice. Scoffing my sandwich in front of my computer while I prepared for the next meeting, I often barely registered what I was taking into my body. No wonder I would finish the lot feeling empty and unsatisfied.

With my new schedule I was committed to making a change. No more meals behind the wheel or a screen, I was determined to start practicing the art of mindful eating.

and the benefits?

Reduced over eating. It's been a while now since I went to bed feeling bloated and over stuffed. Which is great in itself but also means that my 'muffin top' is pretty much gone when I wear my favorite jeans.

Increased enjoyment of food. As a food scientist, I've always considered myself a big fan of eating. Now that I'm on the path to mastering the art of mindful eating, I am finding a new found respect for food and am gaining far more pleasure from meal times.

Improved digestion. Digestion begins in the mouth with the action of saliva. If food isn't chewed properly it means that there's more work for the rest of your digestion system. I may be imagining this, but I think I've also noticed I have less gas now that I'm eating mindfully.

Being satisfied with less. Linked with reduced over eating, the real benefit here is being able to trust yourself to feel satisfied after one or two squares of chocolate so there is no temptation to scoff the whole block. Suddenly there's no need to deny yourself the occasional treat which makes for a far healthier relationship with food.
Ready to change the way you interact with food?

How to master the art of mindful eating:

1. Start small. Like all new habits, it's best to set realistic expectations. Choose one meal or snack each day and commit to focusing on mindful eating at that time.

2. Stop multitasking at meal times. It's really difficult to focus on eating if you're doing other things. Set aside time for eating without other entertainment.

3. Only eat at the table. Another way to minimize mindless munching is to get into the habit of only eating when you are sitting down and able to give the food your full attention. No more snacking on the run.
4. Appreciate the appearance. While we've all drooled over gorgeous food porn in magazines or online, sometimes we forget about the beauty of the food we are about to eat. Taking the time to notice sets the scene for mindful eating.
5. Focus on each mouthful. Think about the flavour, texture and even the sound of the food in your mouth. Focus on how much you like, or dislike these sensations.
6. Chew. While it can be overkill to go to the monastic extreme of 100 bites per mouthful, make sure you chew your food enough so that it is well broken down before you swallow.

7.Use cutlery and put it down between mouthfuls. It's much easier to take smaller portions when using a knife and fork. Of course if you feel like you're having a ridiculous Seinfeld moment eating a chocolate bar with utensils, then skip this step but do put the bar down in between bites so you can focus.

8. Talk and share. One of the joys of eating is sharing a meal with loved ones. It can be challenging to incorporate mindfulness in a social situation but not impossible. Turn the focus of the conversation onto the meal while you are actually eating. Share what you are experiencing in terms of flavours and textures, likes and dislikes. At first this may seem a little weird but trust me, you'll soon find yourself having fun with it.

9. Go for quality not quantity. By choosing smaller amounts of the best food you can afford, you will not only enjoy it more, you're far more likely to be satisfied without having to over eat.

10. Make time to prepare your own meals, preferably from fresh ingredients. The cooking process can be as relaxing and enjoyable as eating if you let it. For me, the peace of mind that comes from knowing exactly what has gone into my food makes any hassle worthwhile.

Why not try the art of mindful eating with my super simple recipe for broccoli with chickpeas & tahini.

[5 ingredients | 10 mintutes]

super simple broccoli with chickpeas & tahini sauce

serves 2 – 3

This is broccoli at it's best. Crunchy and fresh in some spots, caramelised and complex in others. It seems like so much more than, well, just broccoli. With all that variety it's a great dish to practice the gentle art of mindful eating.

I've added the chickpeas to make it more of a complete meal, but I have been known to happily tuck into a big bowl of the broccoli on it's own.

Tahini is a paste of ground sesame seeds and is available from most health food stores. Natural yoghurt makes a good substitute.

If Leo hasn't convinced you to become a vegan yet, the broccoli is also brilliant served with some crispy bacon or a softly poached egg.

1 head broccoli, chopped into bite sized mini-trees

extra virgin olive oil

1 can chickpeas (14oz or 400g), drained

2 tablespoons tahini

3 tablespoons lemon juice

Preheat a large frying pan on the hottest heat.

Add 2 tablespoon oil to pan. When it starts to smoke add the broccoli and cover with a lid or an oven tray – it's critical to seal it so the broccoli fries from the bottom but steams at the top.

After 2 minutes, remove the lid and stir. Return lid and cook for a further 2 minutes.
Add the chickpeas and stir. Cover and cook for another minute.

Test a piece of broccoli – if it's tender, remove from the heat. If not cover and cook for another few minutes. Season with salt & pepper.

Meanwhile combine tahini & lemon juice with 2 tablespoons water and stir until you have a smooth sauce.
Serve broccoli and chickpeas with tahini sauce drizzled over the top.

Jules Clancy is the author of the cookbook 'And the love is free' and writes stonesoup – a blog about helping people become better home cooks by using a minimalist approach to cooking.
—
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Amazing Life Lessons You Can Learn From Albert Einstein: Part Deux

 

 

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Amazing Life Lessons You Can Learn From Albert Einstein: Part Deux

via Dumb Little Man - Tips for Life by Mr. Self Development on 3/23/10

Given the great response to the article "10 Amazing Life Lessons You Can Learn From Albert Einstein," I've decided to publish the other seven lessons that I originally intended to include in that article. These were cut out because I feared the article was too long. However, I now believe that these seven lessons are even more profound than the original ten.

For those who didn't get a chance to read the earlier article, let me begin by recapping Einstein's accomplishments. Then we'll take a look at seven more amazing lessons from Albert Einstein. There's so much to learn from him! If you read the original, feel free to skip past the next couple of paragraphs.

[Recap] Albert Einstein has long been considered a genius by the masses. He was a theoretical physicist, philosopher, author, and is perhaps the most influential scientists to ever live.

Einstein has made great contributions to the scientific world, including the theory of relativity, the founding of relativistic cosmology, the prediction of the deflection of light by gravity, the quantum theory of atomic motion in solids, the zero-point energy concept, and the quantum theory of a monatomic gas which predicted Bose–Einstein condensation, to name a few of his scientific contributions.

Einstein received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics "for his services to Theoretical Physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect."

He's published more than 300 scientific works and over 150 non-scientific works. Einstein is considered the father of modern physics and is probably the most successful scientist there ever was.

7 More Amazing Lessons from Albert Einstein:

1. Devote Your Life to a Cause
   
   

   "Only one who devotes himself to a cause with his whole strength and soul can be a true master. For this reason mastery demands all of a person."

   
   Success requires all that you are, or as Walter Cronkite so eloquently put it, "I can't imagine a person becoming a success who doesn't give this game of life everything he's got." To succeed, to become a master, will require all that you are. Are you giving your all?


2. Great People Will Always Encounter Great Opposition
   
   

   "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."

   
   With success comes opposition, there will always be resistance to greatness. Zig Ziglar said, "Little men, with little minds, and little imaginations, go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds." Never let "little men" stop you from achieving your dreams. Know that great spirits have always encountered great opposition.


3. Make a Decision to See the World as Friendly
   
   "The most important decision we ever make is whether we believe we live in a friendly universe or a hostile universe."
   
   Your perception becomes your reality. If you believe the world is plotting to do you "good," than it is. If you believe the world is plotting to do you harm, than it is. Wayne Dyer said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Make the choice to see the world as friendly?


4. Character Trumps Intellect
   
   

   "Most people say that is it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character."
   

   
   Your character determines how far you go in this lifetime, so work on your character; work on being the person you want people to perceive you to be. Work on your attitude, Einstein said, "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character," and without character, success has no value.


5. Never Ever Stop Learning
   
   

   "Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death."

   
   Never stop learning, when you're not learning, you're not growing; when you're not growing, you're dying. Always ask questions; always look for better ways to get things done. Einstein said, "He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."


6. Change the Way You Think
   
   

   "No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it."

   
   The only way to conquer a problem is to grow bigger than the problem. You must become a "bigger" person. You must change the way you perceive things. This is why reading is so important; reading expands your mind to new levels, it increases your consciousness and your likelihood for success. Learn to cultivate the joy of reading, readers are leaders!


7. Serve the World
   
   

   "The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule. The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive."

   
   Einstein said, "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." Let me encourage you to live your life in service to others, in service to your spouse, your children, your community, and your world. Your greatest success will come from your service to others.

Thank you for reading, and please pass this article along!

Written on 3/23/2010 by Mr. Self Development who is a motivational author that offers a practical guide to success and wealth; support him by visiting his blog at mrselfdevelopment.com or by subscribing to his feed.

Photo Credit: Joachim Reinhardt

 

 

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5 Big Ways to Add Time To Your Days

 

 

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5 Big Ways to Add Time To Your Days

via Dumb Little Man - Tips for Life by Ali on 3/20/10

A lot of productivity advice offers great hints for speeding up particular tasks: perhaps by concentrating better, by eliminating distractions and interruptions, or by learning to use Firefox, Gmail and other common programs more efficiently.

But what can you do if simply saving five minutes here and ten minutes there isn't enough? What if you want hours more space in your life, or if you feel constantly overloaded and busy?

Here are five big ways to make more time, which, ultimately means you'll have a better chance of succeeding at what you want to accomplish.

1. Drop One of Your Goals
   It's an unpopular thing to say, but I'm going to say it anyway: You can't do everything that you want to do. I'm sure that, like me, you've got loads of goals and projects and ambitions and ideas... the truth is, you're going to have to pick between them if any of them are going to succeed.
   
   Can you drop one goal? Can you put it aside for a while? If you're trying to start a side business, lose 50lbs, write a novel and get a promotion all in the same year, you're probably going to end up quitting on all of them. It's much better to make a conscious decision on what you want to drop.
   


2. Ditch an Unwanted Commitment
   As well as the goals and projects which we love, most of us have a few commitments which we're not so keen on. Perhaps you got roped in to being on a committee at your kids' school, or maybe you're always the person who cooks at home.
   
   You don't have to keep on with your commitments month after month and year after year. If you've totally lost interest in something, and if it's become a dreaded chore, then find a way out! You might even find that by quitting, you can open up a space for someone who'd really enjoy that particular task.


3. Learn to Delegate
   One reason that many of us end up too busy is because we have the attitude that "If you want a job doing, you have to do it yourself." The truth is, there are plenty of tasks – especially low-level ones – which we should be delegating. It's not only better for us, it's better for other people who can learn and grow their skills by taking on those tasks.
   
   At work, delegating usually means handing on tasks and responsibility to a junior colleague (see here for some tips on delegating effectively). But you can also delegate at home: perhaps getting your teens to help with dinner, or even paying a professional for help with jobs such as cleaning, gardening or decorating.


4. Get Better at Saying No
   Many of us have a tendency to say "yes" whenever we're asked to take on something new. Often, we're reluctant to say "no" because it's just a little job ... perhaps taking the minutes for a regular meeting at work, or making cakes for the kids' school fete, or helping out with our partner's accounts.
   
   The problem is, little jobs often go on over time and become tedious commitments, draining energy as well as time. Plus, if you keep saying "yes", you'll find your free time shrinking rapidly. One of the best ways I've found to say "no" is to ask for a few days to think about it. This is often easier than feeling put on the spot for a decision, and it also lets people know that you're taking their request seriously.


5. Make Your Happiness a Priority
   Finally, if you're really going to create time in your life to do what you want, you need to make your happiness a real priority. That means believing that your happiness does matter, and behaving appropriately.
   
   You may find that you need to stand up for yourself more, or that you can start suggesting social activities which you enjoy, rather than just going along with whatever friends and family say. You may even end up switching careers, starting your own business or taking a sabbatical.

What could you do this week to free up a big chunk of time in your life?

Written on 3/20/2010 by Ali Hale. Ali is a professional writer and blogger, and a part-time postgraduate student of creative writing. If you need a hand with any sort of written project, drop her a line (ali@aliventures.com) or check out her website at Aliventures.

Photo Credit: Seth Tisue

 

 

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My Experiment to Break Free from TV

 

 

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My Experiment to Break Free from TV

via Dumb Little Man - Tips for Life by DLM Writers on 3/21/10

A few years back, I decided to try a "no TV" experiment. I wanted to see if it was possible to give up television for an entire week. It wasn't as extreme as the 30 day experiment mentioned here, but it seemed like a good length of time to me. Actually, before beginning the experiment a single week of no TV seemed like a lifetime. I had grown quite attached to my TV, but I wanted to get back some of my time. I knew that my time could be spent in a more productive manner than watching TV, but I had grown quite accustomed to plopping down in front of the TV after work and vegging there until bedtime.

As I entered the experiment, I realized I had to overcome some of the excuses I had developed for keeping the TV on. I have heard the following excuses from others and also uttered them myself. I realized that these excuses were really just falsehoods keeping me away from exerting any effort to do anything... anything at all.

1. I Just Turn it on for Background Noise
   We get accustomed to having noise in our lives. So much so that quiet time can feel quite uneasy or even frightening. We often thrive on that constant source of outside stimulation. The television is a poor source of background noise. Most programming leans toward the negative and some (like the evening news) can be downright depressing. Beyond that however, quiet time is very beneficial. In the quiet we are forced to listen to our own thoughts. We get the opportunity to think for ourselves. The quiet allows us to recharge those mental batteries.
   


2. The Kids Watch It
   Ah, the ideal babysitter; needs no payment, doesn't complain, keeps the kids entertained for hours, and allows us parents to get some time to ourselves. It's pretty obvious that "the kids watch it" isn't really a good excuse. Sure the kids get sucked into some happy delightful children's programming and sure they may learn a thing or two, but how much more would they learn by using their own imaginations? We all know that we shouldn't let the kids watch too much TV, but we often long for some time to ourselves and permit that babysitter in a box to do our jobs as parents. And really, the TV doesn't make a very good parent. Our children would be a lot better off if we encouraged play time, reading, and imagination. Of course, part of this includes us getting involved with our children and participating in some of this play.
   


3. I Like to Watch the Educational Programs
   I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say they watch TV for the educational programming like the Discovery Channel or The Learning Channel. The best way to approach this is to ask yourself if this "learning" is beneficial to you personally. Would buy a book to read about this topic? If the answer to that simple question is no, then you really aren't learning anything useful at all. I'm not sure how knowledge of Lions in Africa or Kangaroos in Australia will really benefit us in everyday life. Sure the topics may be interesting, but in reality they take away from time that could be spent actually learning; learning something beneficial that we could apply to our everyday lives.
   


4. I Like to Relax and Unwind After a Hard Day of Work
   Unwinding after work is a great idea, but is watching TV really the best way? How about a warm bath, a good book, some light conversation with the family, a short nap, or lounging in a comfy chair in the back yard. All of these alternatives would be better ways to unwind. Additionally, that time spent unwinding in front of the TV often stretches into most of the evening. That bit of time intended for unwinding ends up being an evening wasted in front of the TV. I'm sure you can find better methods for unwinding that won't consume your evening.
   


5. I Might Miss Something Good
   This was my excuse in my younger years. I hated missing something on TV, especially when everyone else was talking about it the next day. It's a lonely feeling to be left out of conversations just because you missed a TV program and had nothing to contribute. As you get older, the scene changes to coworkers around the water cooler, but the excuse remains. The difference is, as an adult, we should feel less pressure to fit in, and have more meaningful things to talk with our coworkers about. I have missed out on hundreds of "television" conversations at work. It's really not important to me anymore, and I can give a small smile on the inside when a "television" conversation begins because I know I've made better use of my time.

I came across an interesting quote recently:

You sit around watching all this stuff happen on TV. . . and the TV sits and watches us do nothing! The TV must think we're all pretty lame. -Shannon Wheeler

I think the quote hits it about right. My week without TV was a big success. I wasn't twitching, crying in the corner, or drenched in a cold sweat. I actually found myself reading more books, talking more with my wife, and generally enjoying the evenings more. We did allow the TV back into our lives, but on a much more limited basis. In fact, we eventually canceled our cable TV because we weren't getting good value out of the programming available. How about you? Are you ready overcome the excuses and try a No TV Experiment?

Written on 3/21/2010 by Eric Watermolen. Eric is a lifestyle blogger and amateur philosopher. He enjoys discussions of our path in life. You can find him at Eden Journal, where he posts a wide spectrum of articles from personal development to spiritual and philosophical awakenings..

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If You Live By The Rules, You Die By The Rules

 

 

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If You Live By The Rules, You Die By The Rules

via Life Coach Blog: The Discomfort Zone : by Tim Brownson on 3/22/10

I love Amazon, I really do.

I have no idea how much I spend there in a year, but it's a lot. I love the fact that I can read reviews on books before I buy, that when I do buy they'll turn up on time thanks to the awesome Amazon Prime.

That I can buy a gift and have it delivered directly to the person, gift wrapped if necessary, and that I can send stuff back without any quibbling whatsoever.

I hate Amazon, I really do.

I hate the fact they take such a large percentage off authors for their books, that they pay pitiful levels of commission to their affiliates and they charge me $79 for Amazon Prime, a service that has me buying books on a whim when before I'd wait until I got up to the free order threshold by which time I'd often changed my mind.

Most of all though I hate the fact they have the power to dictate what books are and are not successful.

John my co-author on How To Be Rich and Happy hates Amazon for another reason and one that's created a stalemate. Until now that is.

John like many successful authors has been pirated and those books have shown up on Amazon for sale. Also, like myself, he has his own books showing up second hand on Amazon, sometimes in the first week of release.

So people that may be about to buy a new copy of the brilliant 'The Big Five For Life' suddenly realize they can get a second hand copy for half the price, or even a lot less than that.

Amazon makes money out of that, the seller makes money out of that, the shipping company makes money out of that, the author doesn't.

It's not easy to shed a tear for writers like Stephen King, J K Rolling and John Grisham, because it's doubtful they'll be worried about where their next meal is coming from, but what about the many thousands of authors that are barely scraping an existence?

When we get the first 3,000 copies of How To Be Rich and Happy in June we'll be looking to generate a lot of media publicity as we give them away.

We want to create a snowball effect that means we sell more of the e-book on the back of the publicity, which generates more money to buy more physical books and so on and so forth.

The Dilemma

Traditional media will generate traditional responses.

You're still fairly unusual in so much as you read blogs. Most people don't. As such you probably use the Internet as your primary source of news and you're less likely to buy newspapers or watch TV news.

People that watch local TV are far less likely to be webcentric and as such will be much less inclined to buy e-books.

The dilemma is, we could end up generating a shit load of publicity for a physical book that is only available as a giveaway to good causes and can't be bought.

With this in mind I've been pushing John to agree to get some copies printed for sale so we could raise the cash we need much more quickly,

But he was resistant. His line of thinking was, if we're trying to help people and give up our own time and money he was damned if Amazon were going to take 55%.

The Solution

We were at an en passe and struggling to work out a compromise.

In the book we talk about not getting ' Mad How Disease' Sometimes it's better to stop thinking about how you can do something and shift your mindset as to who can help you do it

The who doesn't necessarily mean you to have to literally speak or interact with that person, you may just learn from their work or model their actions.

I found our 'who' almost by accident and it's Chris Brogan and Julien Smith.

I was reading their excellent book 'Trust Agents' and was introduced to their rather cool term 'Gatejumpers'

A gatejumper is a person, business or organization that doesn't try to take the normal route to success, they cheat (or hack as it's known in online gaming parlance) by changing the rules of the game to fit their strengths.

Amazon changed the rules of the game with book distribution and as such now dominate the market place like it has never been dominated before.

What if Amazon had the rules changed on them?

To sell a book on Amazon (or in Barnes and Noble or any other major book seller) it has to have an ISBN (International Standard Book Number). That's the bar code that you see on the back cover of every book you have ever bought that wasn't self-published.

Without that they cannot control inventory, pay people, track distribution and do all that good stuff that businesses need to do.

The really cool thing is pirates need the ISBN number too, and so do re-sellers, because without it  they are royally screwed and cannot use Amazon.

• What if we refused to apply for an ISBN number?
• What if we only sold the book from the How To Be Rich and Happy site?
• What if we generated so much publicity that we could raise a finger to Amazon?

If we sell books from our site at $25 as an example we could probably have in the region of $20+ of every sale going to print more books and raise the money we need in a lot less time. A similar book sold on Amazon would be lucky to net us $7 after our costs and it would be pirated in not time.

Of course it's fraught with difficulties challenges, because most people default to Amazon when they want to buy a book. But people defaulted to Encyclopedia Britannica until Microsoft kicked their but with Encarta, and then they defaulted to Encarta until Wikipedia kicked its but. Things change.

Trust Agents helped me see things differently and it was then driven home even further yesterday.

I was talking with Naomi Dunford from IttyBiz and she was saying she gets irritated by the expressions 'thinking outside the box'. As she put it and I'm paraphrasing including sprinkling in a gratuitous 'F' bomb that may not have been there, but just sounds more Naomish:

"Why don't they just get rid of the fucking box, why even accept there is a box there in the first place, instead of thinking you have to step outside something? It's ridiculous"

We're getting rid of the box and I suppose we could crash and burn and have to go back to Amazon cap in hand.

We hope people will see the reasons behind this and get behind us as a way of supporting good causes and saying to companies like Amazon;

"If you live by the rules, you die by the rules"

What do you think? Are we setting ourselves up for a fall? How can you Gatejump some project you are currently involved in and set your own rules?

 

 

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10 Ways to Deal With the Non-Simplifying Others in Your Life

 

 

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10 Ways to Deal With the Non-Simplifying Others in Your Life

via Zen Habits by Leo on 3/22/10

"God grant me the serenity to accept
the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference."
~Reinhold Niebuhr, The Serenity Prayer

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on twitter or identica.

Probably the most frequently asked questions for those trying to simplify their lives isn't How Do I Simplify, but rather What If Others in My Life Don't Want to Simplify?

It's an amazingly common problem, and one that doesn't have an easy answer.

However, there are things you can do if your significant other, family members, friends, co-workers or others in your life are standing in the way of finding simplicity.

I'm lucky in that my wife, Eva, is incredibly supportive and in fact has joined me in my journey to simplify. She has eliminated a lot of her stuff, has streamlined her life, and while she's not quite as minimalist as I am (who can blame her?), she's come an amazingly long way and I'm proud of her.

But that didn't happen by accident — I engaged Eva from the beginning, got her on my side, and didn't push or try to force her to do anything (well, usually — I don't claim to be perfect). And of course, what's most important is that she genuinely wants me to be happy and to succeed in anything I do. Again, I'm really lucky.

I've had success in getting my kids on board, at least a little bit, with a lot of what I do, and I've also had success in letting them live their lives differently than I lead mine. I've also had to deal with other family members and people in my life who haven't been so supportive — in a few cases, actively against some of the things we've tried to do.

Leo's Simple Methods of Dealing With Others
How have I dealt with all of this? I'd like to share some of what's worked for me, in hopes that it'll help some of you. As always, your mileage will vary.

1. Model behavior. The most important thing you can do to convert others to your ideas is to be the best model possible. Walk the walk, and do it visibly, so others can see what you're doing. This goes for your spouse, for your kids, for family and friends, for co-workers. Just showing how to do it can be a powerful tool indeed. Declutter your life, live more simply, and you'll go a long way to converting others.

2. Share how important it is to you, and the benefits. This is really the second part of being a role model: as you start to live the simple life, show others how great it is to you, how important a part of your life this is. Talk with them about it, and tell them why you're doing this. When people understand your motivation, they can start to get on board, or at least stop feeling so threatened. And when they see how great it is for you, how happy it makes you and all the great things it brings into your life, they'll move closer and closer to your way.

3. Ask for help. One of the first things I did with Eva was ask for her support. Not just her consent, but her physical help. I confessed that I can't do it on my own and I need her. Many people, if they truly care about you, want to help you. They want you to be happy, and if you tell them how they can help you succeed, they'll do their best. If possible, make simplifying a team effort — not just something you're doing, but something you're all doing together. And make it fun!

4. Educate. The best way to educate others is, as I said above, by your good example. But beyond that, you may want to share books and websites and blogs you're reading, not in a way that insists that they change, but just to show what you're interested in and how they might learn more if they're interested. Documentaries, podcasts, magazines, and other good sources of information are helpful as well. You can't force people to read or watch, but you can make it available. In addition, talk with them about it — again, not in a pushy way but in a way that shows how excited you are and how you'd like to share what you're learning about. If they seem put off, don't drone on and on.

5. Help them succeed. If you do have some success converting some of the important people in your life to your way of thinking, at least to a minor degree, don't criticize when they don't do it as well as you'd like, or to the extent you'd like. Instead, be encouraging, be happy for them, and support them in any way you can. Again, make it a team effort.

6. Realize you can't control or change others. One of the most common frustrations comes when people try to control other people, or force them to change. It's a recipe for disaster. You can try to control others, but there will always be a struggle, and you'll always fail to some degree. This applies to your significant other, even to kids. We try to control them but we can't, not really. Instead, try to influence others, encourage them, support them, help them find happiness. And let go of the need to control. It's difficult but really essential here. Once you can release that need to control, you'll find much more happiness.

7. Set boundaries. Once you stop trying to control others, you have to find ways to live together with different goals and different ways of life. If you want to simplify and the others you live or work with don't, how can you peacefully coexist in the same space? Some possibilities (but nowhere near an exhaustive list): decide who owns what and just simplify your own things; split up the house or office into your area and theirs; find a happy compromise between simplicity and major clutter.

8. Have patience. Don't expect others to change overnight just because you have. The important people in your life might not get quite as excited about this change, because it's not coming from them. They might not learn it as quickly as you have, or go quite as far. Or they might not want to change or support your change at all, at first … but later, they might come around. Again, don't push or be obnoxious about it, but instead be patient, encouraging, with an attitude of sharing what you're learning and excited about.

9. Change what you can. Sometimes you can't change everything you'd like, and you have to learn to accept that. Find areas you can control, find places that others will allow you to change, and focus on those. The other areas might come later (or they might not). This is what comes from having others in your life — you give up complete control, but you also get the wonder of sharing your life with other human beings, something I'd never give up.

10. Find support. If you can't get support from some people in your life, find it elsewhere if possible. This might be from others who are doing the same thing as you — friends or family, or people in your community. It could be from online communities, such as social networks or forums. There are tons of people out there who are trying to simplify (the Zen Habits forums are just one example). Share your progress, challenges, frustrations with them, and you'll find help from people who understand.

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If you're interested in a simple life, check out my ebook: The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life.

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God help Us